So tomorrow marks two weeks since my emergency surgery and I have to go back to work. I’m worried about how I will handle the physical side of things as well as the emotional side with seeing my coworkers. I feel like it’s been much longer than 2 weeks-which come to think about it, it’s […]

I haven’t had my normal husband since July around the time of the egg retrieval. Since then I have had an imposter that looks like my husband, sometimes act like my husband, but really isn’t him at all. It’s like he’s a victim of the body snatchers. It started out that work stress and anxiety […]

Okay so this is a little hard to write out and explain. I’m not even sure if this final draft does it justice. Back in April I was praying and the name James suddenly popped into my head. At that time I wasn’t sure if it was a prophetic message that we will have a […]

Not only do I get to deal with the physical recovery of this nightmare. I now have 3 more scars to mark my 8-10th stab incisions into my abdomen during this infertility journey. I am dealing with the emotions and realization that not only did I lose a child and a chance at a natural […]

3 hours after leaving the emergency room I had another sudden onset pain spell that was worse than before. This time the pain was in my lower right quadrant radiating to my right hip and lower back and I had started to bleed. My husband called the emergency room to see if I should come […]

Today has not been a good day. I started the day at the hospital out patient area getting bloodwork drawn for my followup after the methotrexate injection. My values went down at day 3 and today was day 7. After that I went to the church for women’s bible study. Today we had a monthly […]

This emotional rollercoaster nightmare just keeps on going… Went in today for my followup ultrasound and bloodwork. I thought this was all over and we could discuss the plans to move forward. Oh how wrong I was. First off the ultrasound showed a thinner uterine lining which is good and still no sign of a […]

So was thinking about birthdays tonight and realized that from now on I will never be able to see my husband’s or my own birthdays the same. Forever will I remember that we found out about our pregnancy on his birthday and the due date would have been mine…